RSSThe Femme Fatale
Femmeinist: (1) a femme feminist; (2) someone who believes not only in the equality of all sexes but equality of all genders, specifically someone who embraces fem(me)ininity for themselves or within others and works against both oppositional and traditional sexism.
Fucktoy: a person who enjoys sex and sexuality with the purpose of giving and receiving pleasure for the benefit of all involved.
General
I’m a genderqueer fat femme drag queen fagette and pomo queer intellisexual polyamorous switch (cuntpet and Domina). My gender expression usually comes out within a femme drag queen framework, but I do not believe in confining my gender to one category, or binary gender labels, and I am just as comfortable in my pinstripe suit and doc’s as I am in a dress and heels.
I have degrees in both Gender Studies and Psychology, both with an emphasis in sexuality, and I am currently working toward a Ph.D in Human Sexuality.
I am a writer, photographer, blogger, sex toy reviewer, and a sex-positive kink, queer, and sex educator. My spirituality comes in the form of sacred whoredom, scarlet womanhood, occultism, and magik. I am an astrologer and a practicing occultist, dabbling in multiple disciplines including sex magik, ceremonial magik, the quabalah, and golden dawn, among others.
I am a cuntpet and Switch with my Dominus Onyx and a Domina (with no sub at this time). Onyx and I have known each other since the end of 2004 and have been together since July of 2005. He collared me November 19th, 2005 and I moved in with him August 26th, 2006. We were in a Male-Dominus/femme-submissive relationship until October of 2008 when we first switched. We now switch with each other, although Male-Dominus/femme-submissive is our primary orientation. We are both polyamorous queer feminist switches.
I’m interested in finding partners to explore different aspects of myself with, either external to or included within my current relationship. I consider myself to be a “lifestyle” switch, under the definition of lifestyle as someone who is devoted to leather, BDSM, and power dynamics.
I discovered the term for my desires (BDSM) about ten years ago, and haven’t looked back since. I have always been into bdsm-type things but never had a name for it until I discovered a romance novel I was reading had some play-rape and bondage in it. Being the curious girl I was, I went online and looked up stuff like that. I didn’t discover BDSM until I was reading a story in the Non-Consent area of literotica which had multiple parts, and the third or so installment was in the BDSM section instead of the Non-Consent section. I then explored the BDSM section and was extremely intrigued. I’ve been exploring BDSM ever since.
I believe that bdsm is all relative, and anyone who believes they are doing it the “correct” or “proper” way obviously doesn’t understand that everyone is different, and what works for some people doesn’t work for others. The only correct way to do bdsm is what works for you and your partner(s).
I don’t believe 24/7 Owner/slave relationships are what everyone should strive for, but is an acceptable relationship style for those who desire it. I also consider myself 24/7, but not in the same way most people think of 24/7 (being a switch throws the proverbial wrench into that).
Turn ons: intelligence and intellect, sarcasm and wit, queer & gender theory, PoMo, gender, butches, femmes, genderfuckers, control, breath play, gags, cages, simple to ornate bondage, strap-ons, anal play, throatfucking, toys, canes/floggers/impact play, sensation play, sharps play, mental bdsm, and more.
Turn offs: closed mindedness, willful ignorance, tickling, people who don’t seem to have any common sense, the usual big bads (kids, dead people, animals, etc.).
I can be found elsewhere on:
my photography portfolio site Deviant Decadendce
my pet project The Femmes Guide to Absolutely Everything
and as a contributor on Best Sex Bloggers and Kinky Sex Link.
I am on various social sites such as FetLife, Twitter, LiveJournal, and The Alternative Presenter.
