I’m doing this post round-up both for you my readers and for myself, it helps me to categorize what I have done and written, to see what areas I talk about most, what things I may want to talk about next month, and where my relationship(s) have been and how they have developed over the last month.

Holy wow, is it really November already? It seems like just yesterday I was astounded that it was October, now it’s been another month. Insanity. November is going to be exciting, most notably the 4th, I think. If you read this via RSS reader and haven’t stopped by my site you probably haven’t noticed the new addition to my sidebar, and Obama Pride image and a little blurb saying I support Barack Obama.

But, back to October, since that’s what this post is really about. In October, Onyx and I switched for the first time, which ended up working well. I posted a little less than I had the last few months, I fell off the posting structure I had set out before, but I have a new one to implement.

Also, I just hit 100 Subscribers! Which is pretty exciting! I wish there was a way for me to be able to tell who was my 100th subscriber, ’cause I totally would love to send them something, but I may just have to have a contest instead… more on that in November!

sex-positive

• I reviewed three toys in the month of October: The Under the Bed Restraints, The Odyssey Tickler, and The Hardcore Harness.

fat femme

• There was a series of Identity Musing posts which delved into my gender identity progression from as far back as I remember. It was a three-part series which led to some personal insights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

queer poly

• After coming home from my trip to Alaska and the Pacific Northwest I had some things to say about identity and how it
• I found the Go PoMo video so, of course, I had to share it with you.
• Onyx and I have been opening him up to his queer side a bit more, so I talked a bit about his queer identity and our queering of him.

kinky switch

• Onyx and I decided to switch to see how we would enjoy it, and decided to make switching a part of our normal routine.
• I also decided to give you a dose of smut with me Dominating Onyx.

all else

• As per usual I participated in Half-Nekkid Thursday with Bare, Home Sweet Heartache, Ballet Shoes and Rainbow Knee Socks, and Happy Halloween.
• I was tagged in a seven facts meme twice! So I gave you 14 Facts about me.
• I premiered my new project: Pleasurists.Com an adult-product review round-up blog with some info and the first Pleasurists.
• I talked about The Butterfly Temptress Cancer Fund and how you can help.
• I also posted PG Porn, about the New Masthead up above there, and my experience going to a Genitorturers concert.

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I hadn’t planned on changing my masthead tonight, although I’d been trying to find a new image to use for quite some time but stumbled upon this one by accident. It’s called Femme en Vogue I by Bertram Bahner. I don’t really know who that is, but I saw this via google images and fell in love with it a bit.

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I’m doing this post round-up both for you my readers and for myself, it helps me to categorize what I have done and written, to see what areas I talk about most, what things I may want to talk about next month, and where my relationship(s) have been and how they have developed over the last month.

So, this is rather late, but I’m back-dating it to October 1st. I’ve just not been on my game as far as quick and often posting, which is both good and bad in some ways. I have been focusing on other things, such as my new photography website Deviant Decadence, but I have also not been posting as much or even what I have been wanting to.

September was somewhat cut short, due to my trip to Seattle-area and Juneau, in addition, most of the posts were about gender, sex toys, or something other than this site and personal stuff. I had a lot of things going on in September as far as personal issues, Onyx and I had a few hills in our normally somewhat rocky relationship, but we got through them and are stronger for them, I believe.

Gender and sex toy reviews were really the strongest categories this month, and gender is something I’ve been thinking about quite a lot lately, something I’m trying to figure out, to fit into. I have a lot more thinking to do, so expect a lot more posts on gender in the future. I didn’t talk a lot about kinky issues this month, mostly because I wasn’t feeling terribly sexual, and Onyx and I were not relating as usual, but also because I was gone for half of it.

feminist

• I couldn’t not pass on this wonderful story from The Daily Show about the hypocracy in the presidential campaign as far as sexism and other general issues.

sex-positive

• I mused about my reasons for this blog as well as sex writing in general, and my identity progression.
• I had the wonderful opportunity to review three LELO toys, Nea, Iris, and Ella (and I have more on the way–very exciting!)
• I also reviewed the Silicone Crystal Cote from VibeReview and offered a Half-Nekkid Thursday post when I recieved my newest box of toys from them, in addition to information about various discounts on toy sites.

fat

• I discovered a wonderful YouTube channel called Project Lifesize about size-acceptance and life acceptance and I needed to share.

femme/fagette

• I mused quite a bit about labels again this month, talking extensively about my label fetish, what that means, and how it manifests.
• I really went back and explored some of my butch leanings earlier in my life, with two of my HNT’s focusing around older pics (partially because my card reader was broken, so I delved into my archives for them) when I was much more butch than femme: The Butch in Me and Baby Dyke.
• A post of Sinclair’s over at Sugarbutch inspired me to delve into my own semantic usage of bio- and cis-.

queer poly

• A post with info regarding the Queer Psychotherapy Conference in San Francisco, and as a queer with a Psychology degree I was instantly intrigued and desired to go, so I thought I would share.

kinky switch

• Onyx (my Dominus) started to contribute to this blog with his guest posts. First, I posted a poem he wrote for me, then he started posting on his own with an introduction, and then answers to Ellie’s questions on masculinity (musings on masculinity).
• I had some hang-ups for most of the month regarding our relationship, and I wrote about them regarding some of my lack of posting.

all else

• I was named #30 in Rori’s list of Top 100 Sexy Bloggers of 2008.
• I asked for some help regarding what you would like to see on the site
• There was a week where I pumped out quite a few PSA posts regarding: Bitch Magazine, Dacia’s Love Machine, and the NYC 2009 Sex Bloggers Calendar.
• I participated in two of this month’s Sugasm’s: #146, and #148.

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I’m doing this post round-up both for you my readers and for myself, it helps me to categorize what I have done and written, to see what areas I talk about most, what things I may want to talk about next month, and where my relationship(s) have been and how they have developed over the last month.

In August I popped out a few more posts than I had in months previous, and I feel pretty good about that. A lot of the reason for it is because of the new structure which I have on the site, August being the first month where this had been implemented.

I also thought a lot about my goals for the site, which I have yet to post about, but which I have mostly figured out. While it is a personal blog and I talk about a lot of personal things I am also hoping that it’s more than that, it’s informative and educational as far as it’s sharing my perspective and allowing others to see that. I had an epiphany in August as well which included the realization of why I’m blogging, which is not only to inform and educate but to find a community to be a part of, and I’m really starting to find that. I have made some great internet-friends who I hope to become closer to as time goes on.

Now, on to the post round-up going down the subjects of the title and subtitle of the blog, aka my identities and my posting topics:

sex-positive

• I put out quite a few reviews during august, starting with the gorgeous Vicky Venus, then moving to the Miracle Massager which I was quite pleased with, and the Miracle Massager Attachment which I was not very pleased with at all. I was also able to review a lovely glass dildo/plug, and the ever delightful Silver Bullet in which I also mentioned my first experience buying a sex toy which was also a bullet.
• Along the same lines, I also posted about the next shipment of sextoys I’m getting from VibeReview, including a new Lelo toy, a harness and strap-on compatible dildos, and all sorts of other yummy things!
• I also raved about my newfound love of Nea by Lelo, though didn’t review it until the 1st of September.
• Lastly, I talked about my interest and plans to become a phone-sex operator, some of the reasons for it and why I am interested in this type of sex work.

fat

• I talked about my current struggle with my own weight and how weight should be less important than health, but that is not always the case, and how I struggle with being size-positive but also trying to lose weight. The key, I’ve come to, is to look at it in a way that is about being healthy at any size.

femme

• Largely inspired by my new project The Femme’s Guide to Absolutely Everything I have been thinking a lot about my femme identity, and I do mean A LOT, which means I posted about it quite a bit throughout August.
• Three out of four of my Semantics Sunday posts were about something related to either my femme identity or gender as well (and the other one could also be argued to be somewhat about my femme identity). The first SS was on the gender galaxy as opposed to gender binary/continuum, giving you an idea of how I view this gender galaxy we all inhabit. Next, I wrote about my definition of femme, not only how I define it but also how it is deviant and also a little about what it means to me. My latest SS post is on the term Fagette which contains both of my femme and boi identities within it and which I’ve been also thinking about a lot lately.
• In addition to talking about my gender I also posted a genderqueered HNT which I rather adore. All dressed up in my pinstripe suit with red lips and nails, finding my own gender uniqueness through fuckery.
• Lastly, I talked more on femme cock and what it means to me for my dick to be a girl.

queer poly

• I chose to share my love of The Leather Daddy and the Femme (review forthcoming) by posing with it in an HNT.
• I posted a gay zombie spoof movie trailer because I think it’s both hilarious as well as says something interesting about both zombie movies and homophobia.
• And, I re-posted a call for library activism, which I found particularly inspiring.

kinky switch

• At the request of Elizabeth of Pornocracy (who is in the middle of Hurricane Gustav and my thoughts are with both her and Gabe) I explored some of my desires for participating in breath play and what that means to me.

cuntpet

• In August I was lucky enough to attend my second play party so, of course, I had to tell you all about that experience and then show you some of the consequences of being flogged and caned as I was.
• I mused about some semantic issues I was having around my use of the term ‘Master’ and have since been using Dominus when referring to my Owner, mostly because I enjoy it more and he likes it as well. Along the same lines, the Semantic Sunday post which I have yet to mention was about my relation to the term fucktoy, one of the aspects of my cuntpet identity, and explained my own definition of it (of course).
• I about personal experiences both past and present within my relationship with Dominus, including a memory of the day we met and how I ended up moving to Utah (with a cute picture of us kissing included in that one), as well as some of the current fears and issues which have been running through my brain regarding our relationship currently.

Domina

• I didn’t talk a whole lot about my Domina side this month, though things have been percolating, a lot of my attention was on my cuntpet personae due to Dominus’ and my anniversaries which I wrote about. I did, however, write my first Semantics Sunday post on my definition of the term Domina.

All else

• I was fortunate enough to join two group blogs in the month of August, in addition to starting my own (Femme’s Guide). I talked about my involvement with each of them seperately. First, Best Sex Bloggers and then Kinky Sex Link both of which I am honored to be a part of and although I haven’t contributed as much as I would like to I will be contributing more in the future.
• Unlike usual, I only participated in one Sugasm post #143 though mostly because Sugasm was down for a good part of August. I also cross-posted for a friend in need, about Catalina’s raffle which was absolutely amazing.
• Last, I included information about some amusing messages I had received on FetLife from an over-eager Dom. I’m still considering his offer, that goat he owns is a mighty tempting selling point…

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I’m doing this post round-up both for you my readers and for myself, it helps me to categorize what I have done and written, to see what areas I talk about most, what things I may want to talk about next month, and where my relationship(s) have been and how they have developed over the last month.

In July I posted as many times as I did in June (24), the highest numbers which I’ve had since I started the blog. I started getting a lot more feedback, and had a good number of visitors, so I’m very happy about all that! I really love feedback, even though I’m rotten at giving it to others.

The general timeline of July, as well, included me discovering and embracing my switch side, and therefore also my Domina side, which I delve into in a few posts, and there are many more coming. Master and I were less bumpy than we have been in previous months and have settled into a really nice dynamic, and he is very supportive of my exploration of my Domina side, as long as it doesn’t interfere with our dynamic.

There were so many things that I wanted to post and didn’t get a chance to, but hopefully that will change in the coming months, I’m trying to be more focused as well as productive with this blog and I hope it happens! I also went to my first local play party and began to review toys for VibeReview in addition to my reviews with EdenFantasys which I started in June.

Now that you’ve had a general overview here is the specific post roundup, going down the subjects of the title and subtitle of the blog, aka my identities and my posting topics:

fem(me)inist

• Since I changed the banner and name of this site from feminist to femmeinist I analyzed my meanings behind femmeinist and what femmeinism means to me.
• While working on my own definitions of “femmeinist” and “fucktoy” to put in the masthead, I ran across ideas in Urban Dictionary about what all feminists are like.

sex-positive

• Something which I’m still unsure about: my sexcast and what I should do with it, I wrote a post musing about what the next step might be.
• I was very lucky in the sex toy reviewing aspect of this site this month to be able to review the G-Plus (Hitachi) Massager Attachment for EdenFantasys and also get to start working with VibeReview as well, receiving six wonderful sex toys which I will be reviewing throughout the month of August and into September.
• My very first Half-Nekkid Thursday went up just yesterday, the very last day of July! Me in all scarlet and white with my new scarlet and white Vicky Venus dildo and my very white legs which I titled “scarlet seductions“

fat femme

• A mention and information of the (Queer Fat) FemmeCast, something which I think everyone should listen to, regardless of size, orientation, or gender.
• My analysis and musings about my move from my previous butch cock to my new search for a gorgeous femme cock complete with lots of links to deliciously sexy dildos.

queer poly

• Some delving into my personal feelings and visibility issues regarding my identity as queer and being with a male partner while being femme-identified and still embracing the queer label.
• A fucking fantastic pansexual genderqueer video titled Fagette by Athens Boys Choir. (Just posted yesterday)

cuntpet and Domina

• I wrote about my favorite BDSM/kink site in my Ode to FetLife (where I am an official greeter, so if you sign up you might be greeted by me) and also posted the information about a call for submissions for Bound to Struggle Vol. 3.
• Near the beginning of the month I realized and started exploring my identity as a switch, which is something I had never embraced previously, and then near the end of the month went on to discuss the discoveries I had regarding my newly found Domina personae.
• In between those two posts I wrote about the first play party which Master and I attended together, and my reluctance and desire to become part of the local BDSM community
• I ended the month BDSM-wise with a naughty little retelling of the night before, when Master and I played a bit with the cunt/brat aspect of my cuntpet personae, where I tried to tease him, but instead of teasing him he “forced” me to give him a blowjob.

all else

• I participated in three Sugasms, a weekly sex blog round-up: #139, #141, and #142 and I mentioned a Top Sexy Bloggers contest going on over at Between My Sheets (the final list of which should come out in the next few days).
• I speculated about and analyzed labels and their uses which was responded to by Ellie here on her blog
• I also mused about the Half-Nekkid Thursday trend among sex bloggers, and if it would be too sexy to participate in it, as well as the difference between a sexy blog and a sex blog.
• Lastly (and most lately) I spelled out a new posting structure which includes adorably alliterated aliases for days of the week.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the structure of this blog, the intent, what I’m trying to “say” or do or what affect I’m trying to have, and I can’t answer all of those yet, but I’m working on it. This is more than just a blog for me to write about things going on in my life, because I use my livejournal for that (sort of, I’ve been slacking lately). This is more than just a blog for me to write things about BDSM, because I feel it encompasses more than that. I think that the sub-title really says it all. I do mainly focus on BDSM, but I try to post about each bit in kind.

So, in thinking about what I’m trying to say with this blog, I came to the conclusion that I lack the discipline (no surprise there) of posting as often as I would like. I think that in order to gain this discipline it may help for me to construct a list of days, call them nifty alliterated things and stick to the posting of them. This would also help me on the weekends or days when I have a lot of time which I can devote to the blog but have so much to write about I can’t decide on one thing.

I also added a neat plugin called Post Ideas which can keep track of my list of ideas of things I want to write about, and I can pull from that any time I may need to.

Obviously I wouldn’t be limited to these posts on these days, these are just a jumping-off point, and hopefully will help me focus my ideas and intentions. Also: I may not stick rigidly to these either, but I will try to post more often and something related to the day when possible. I may go completely off track, however, and don’t blame me if I do. These are guidelines, and not necessarily hard and fast rules.

My days:

Semantics Sunday - This would essentially be my definition of a word/phrase each week. Something related to one of the many identities which I explore within this blog (see: sub-title), which basically covers anything sexual, gender, bdsm, and poly/relationship oriented. Could be fun…

Masturbation Monday - A review of a sex toy! This may be in written or audio form (talking about the sexcast here), or possibly both. Most will be new, some may be follow-up information (if needed), some (if in audio) may be slight repeats. (Though there will be one this week that will not be on Monday since Monday already passed and I got my lot of sex toys from VibeReview on Friday!)

Temptress Tuesday - A post exploring the Domina personae or the cunt aspect of my cuntpet personae. The personaes who tempt, are tempting, and tempt others into action for various reasons.

Wicked Wednesday - A free-for-all post, really, about something I feel the need to blog about. Could be anything sexual, another Domina post, a cuntpet post, musings on BDSM in general, or something completely different! Random posts which do not fit into the structure go here, as long as they are somehow “wicked”!

Half-Nekkid Thursday - The well known and beloved way for sex(y) bloggers to expose themselves with more than just words. Many of you read my recent pondering regarding this phenomenon and now you know my answer. A lot of my decision was prompted by Ellie’s response to that post, and some of the ideas she brought up, and also prompted by my desire and need to use my Rebel XT more often. This will be fun…

Fucktoy Friday - A post exploring my cuntpet personae, either the fucktoy or pet aspect most likely, but also anything regarding sex and sexuality. Also a very broad category. Hopefully something salacious!

Saturday - None or free-for-all. Nothing specific, no alliteration, as I don’t tend to post on Saturdays (no bar against it, though, of course).

On a slightly side note (though I was talking about plugins before, so it’s slightly relevant), I also added an @reply plugin for comments, which can add an @Name to comments replying to other commenters. Also, the TwitThis plugin which you should see below this paragraph, which would allow you to tweet this post by clicking on it and logging in. It’s pretty neat (though I don’t wholly expect it to be used much (yet?), but I like it anyway).

Technorati Tags: adult product reviews, fucktoy friday, photographilia, semantics, style, temptress tuesday, wicked wednesday

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I’m going to add my definitions of femmeinist and fucktoy to the masthead shortly, and I pondering adding “femmeinist” to the Urban Dictionary, so, of course, I took a look at how feminist is defined in there.

At this point in my life I really should not have been surprised at the definitions which were posted, which basically call all feminists sexist, hypocritical, mean, man-haters, etc. all those wonderful negative stereotypes. I really should not have been saddened or surprised, or have thought that it might be any different.

At least the #2 entry reads:

someone who believes the radical notion that women are people.
if you believe that women and men should have equal rights, you are a feminist. there’s nothing “extreme” about it.

That’s something, right? I urge you all to go to the definition of feminist in the Urban Dictionary and vote for that entry and vote down all the other entries which perpetuate negative stereotypes. While, yes, there are those feminists out there, they are not the majority (at least, not in my experience), they are just the ones which get the most coverage.

*Sigh* So, look for my definitions of femmeinist and fucktoy on the new masthead, should be coming within the hour. Also, I may add femmeinist to the Urban Dictionary, but I wonder if people would bash it as well? I definitely will add my definition of fucktoy (on UD as both fucktoy and fuck toy) however, since the definitions there are all degrading. I’m definitely not using it in a degrading manner.

Also, as a note since I’m mentioning site changes as well, I recently added a weekly poll to the top left sidebar, as well as links to my various wishlists (Amazon, VibeReview, Eden Fantasys, JT’s Stockroom, and Extreme Restraints) on the right sidebar under the buttons to my various profiles on other sites. I also added a list of affiliate links on the left sidebar (such as VibeReview, Eden Fantasys, Babeland, JT’s Stockroom, Extreme Restraints, and Amazon) which look rather similar to the wishlist links, of course, as these are the sites I often frequent and also highly recommend. I will shortly add a paypal donate link, just in case anyone feels generous.

Technorati Tags: femmeinism, identities, masthead

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June was a busy month for me (aren’t they usually?), but also my most active month on here thus far. I got a lot of what I wanted posted, and also started up a bunch of drafts which I never finished, but there’s always time this month.

In June, Master and I had a lot of discoveries and improvements to our relationship, getting to a very good place, a place where I feel comfortable going in deeper and exploring myself and my role in our relationship, as shown by a few posts. I was able to get deeper into my submission to him, analyzing and discovering it in new ways.

I also began posting more non-personal things than previously: video clips, links to conference information and anthologies, and some general information type things within the topics outlined in the subtitle of the blog. I also posted in my first and second sugasm’s (and plan on more in the future), and met a new friend.

Now, the post roundup, going down the subjects of the title and subtitle of the blog, aka my identities and my topics:

feminist

• Misogyny is like Jazz: Women know it when they hear it - A fun short from The Daily Show on the misogyny shown in the primary election regarding Hillary Clinton.

sex-positive

• Vibrator Advert - an amusing little ad very pro-vibrators in a very funny way. “Possibly the best vibrator ad… ever.”
• First Review! - my first review for EdenFantasys of the remote controlled butterfly.
• Waterproof Wabbit Vibe - my review of the Waterproof Wabbit Vibe on Eden Fantasys.
• Bondage Duckie and EdenFantasys Update - my review of the Bondage I Rub My Duckie sex toy on EdenFantasys.
• Colt Shower Shot on EdenFantasys - my review of the Colt Shower Shot Anal Kit/Enema Device is now up on Eden Fantasys.
• Fun Facts About the Clitoris - information from a BBC article and Betty Dodson drawing the internal clitoris
• Popped the Sugasm Cherry - my first submission of Thunderfuck to Sugasm.
• Gimme that Sweet Sweet Sugasm - my second submission of The Perfect Cure for Grumpyness to Sugasm.

fat

• BBW Shibari by Hikari Kesho - Kind of speaks for itself, a sample image and link to Hikari Kesho’s work.
• Spilling Over: A Fat Queer Anthology - Information about an anthology coming out, submissions are due by December 1, 2008. For more information, click the link!

femme

• Femme Conference 2008: The Architecture of Femme - Information about Femme2008: “an international conference celebrating queer femininities”

queer

• In Case You’re Hiding Under a Rock Somewhere - My post on the legalizing of same-sex marriage in California, and my thoughts on marriage in general.
• Jon Stewart on Gay Marriage - A clip from The Daily Show regarding legalization of same-sex marriage.
• Obama vs. McCain on Queers - Two videos regarding how each of our presidential candidates feel about queer issues.

24/7 submissive

• The Aim of Discussion is This - The aftermath of the trip Master and I took, musings about our relationship, the steps we were beginning to take to restore or revamp it, and questioning my Dominant side.
• Transformation at a Good Pace - Similar to the previous, information about the changes we worked on in our relationship.
• Thunderfuck - Orgasm frustration and fucking during a wonderful thunderstorm.
• The Perfect Cure for Grumpyness - How helplessness, bondage, and submitting help me get rid of grumpy feelings.
• Impromptu Ravishment Play - Thoughts on ravishment/rape play, my ideas of my reasons for desiring it, and the (impromptu) scenario which Master and I engaged in.

cuntpet

• Cuntpet Revisited, Or: A Horrible slave, but a Wonderful cuntpet - A long detailed account of my “power identity” aka what it means to be a “cuntpet.”

all else

• Finally Fixed in IE - Site maintenance update–had problems with the layout in IE, but it’s fixed now.
• New Masthead Info - Information about the new masthead
• A First Meeting: Sex Toys, Coffee, and a Kiss - My first time meeting The Dark Republican.

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Many of you may be aware that my site has not been working in IE for quite some time. This was something that was not brought to my attention until meeting up with The Dark Republican. He pointed it out to me, and I ignored it while secretly obsessing over it for about a week before becoming outwardly obsessed into trying to fix it.

I’ve been using FFox 3 beta for many weeks, and I have not used IE as a main browser for years. While I do have the FFox plugin to turn a tab into an IE tab, I hadn’t used it on my site before he mentioned it to me. I suppose I assumed that since it worked in FFox it would work in IE. Silly, silly me. For a bit I was thinking “oh, who really uses IE anyway! It’s not a big problem…” But, then, I realized, especially with the multitude of people coming into the site via sugasm #136 yesterday, and looking at the browser statistics in my site report (about 1/2 FFox and 1/2 IE), that this was a problem that really needed to be fixed, and I blame my low RSS reader stats on my lack of working in IE (though that’s probably not the only reason, but I can live in delusions if I so choose).

So, I obsessed. I’ve been obsessing for the last few days (which has really helped to hinder my posting), but I finally figured it out this morning! It would have been better if I fixed it yesterday morning, as I got many hits yesterday from IE browsers and realize now they may or may not come back. But, oh well. And, of course, now that I know what the problem was I’m kicking myself over not figuring it out sooner. Though, I think it was more than just one, but the last issue I found should have been the easiest. All you programmers/coders/geeks/etc. out there probably understand where I’m coming from.

Long story short: this site now works in IE both 6 and 7 (I checked).

Related posts:

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You may have noticed, there’s a new masthead for this blog. I set it up last night, and I’m still tweaking with the colors. I love it, thus far. I first encountered it as an icon on livejournal, and the image itself is by Vlad Gansovsky who is a simply amazing photographer.

One thing I love about the cropping of this photo (which is similar to how I saw it the first time) is that although the person in the foreground is pretty much definitely a woman, or at least someone with breasts, the person in the background could be a man or woman, and it’s fairly ambiguous either way. I imagine myself as the woman in the foreground, of course, and a lover as the person in the background. Of course, I’m not only attracted to masculinity, but it does seem like a more common occurrence in my life than a feminine partner. More later.

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