Comments on: Would it be too Sexy?

By: July in a Glance | The Femmeinist Fucktoy

July in a Glance | The Femmeinist Fucktoy — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 03:04:53 +0000

[...] also mused about the Half-Nekkid Thursday trend among sex bloggers, and if it would be too sexy to participate in it, as well as the difference between a sexy blog and a sex [...]

By: Structure for the | The Femmeinist Fucktoy

Structure for the | The Femmeinist Fucktoy — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 05:21:46 +0000

[...] beloved way for sex(y) bloggers to expose themselves with more than just words. Many of you read my recent pondering regarding this phenomenon and now you know my answer. A lot of my decision was prompted by [...]

By: scarlet lotus sexgeek

scarlet lotus sexgeek — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:52:44 +0000

@Ben: Fantastic! I always love to hear that, of course. But, the question becomes: if my writing rubs your sapiosexuality the right way, would adding pictures add or detract from that? Hmm… in any case, thank you for commenting and I hope you continue to read!

By: Ben

Ben — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:48:52 +0000

I stumbled across your blog yesterday (via fetlife) and am one of those who finds your intellect and insightful analysis very sexy. Your writing rubs my sapiosexuality just right.

By: scarlet lotus sexgeek

scarlet lotus sexgeek — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:19:50 +0000

@Ellie: Oh, no, I know they’re not mutually exclusive, and I didn’t mean to imply that either. But I think that for me they are mutually exclusive in some ways, but not in others, and it all depends on who is doing the reading. Looking at it purely intent-wise I’m definitely a sex blogger, and sometimes I even steer away from anything too graphic or purposefully sexy. I prefer to gloss over the sex (like in your post the other day where you said “I know, I always skip that part” I had to laugh because I’ve been doing the same thing). Although I do have a few erotic stories on here, none of them are recent.

I think the best way to think about sex theoretically is to have them grounded within personal experience. It makes it more accessible, both for you and for the reader. It’s a tricky thing that we’re both trying to do, I think, be intelligent in writing about sex and bring

That definitely is the question with the HNT, and at this point, I’m honestly not sure. I like your ideas of fucking with expectations (of course) and viewing it in that light makes me much more apt to participate. I think it’s something I definitely need to think on more until I can actually answer those questions. Hmm.

And the Sugasm, no, I’m definitely not quitting, but I need to get to a space where I’m not scrambling Thursday at midnight for something that I’d like to submit. And that’s my own fault, really. I submitted the next post (about Domina desires) this week, which I posted quite literally minutes before the deadline, and that’s not the first time I’ve done that. I love the sugasm (mostly because it give me the most traffic I get to my site), so I definitely won’t stop, I just have to think more about what I write (is that possible?). That is, I need to think about when I post things in addition to what I post… if that makes sense.

By: Ellie

Ellie — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:26:59 +0000

This is an interesting question you are grappling with. I guess when I wrote that post I very much didn’t mean to set up a mutually exclusive set of choices. In fact the question was more about *intent* than *content*. Are you trying to write about sex? Are you trying to appear sexy? Those two aren’t always going to happen at the same time but I think that they often do.

Strangely, when I wrote that post I characterized myself as having gone through a transition where I started to get more “thinky” later. I looked through my archives and that actually isn’t true. The 4th post on my blog ever was about Baudrillard. I’ve always been writing about sex theoretically. The trick is (and I think I see the same features in your blog) I ground those thoughts in my personal experience.

Now as for the practical question of HNT, I think you should do what you are comfortable with. Ask yourself *why* you want to participate and what you think it will add to your blog. Traffic? Readers? Sexiness?

Of course there are many famous erotic photographers and artists that would scoff at the idea that a photo can’t “make a statement”. Just because you add pics doesn’t mean they have to be MySpace angle shots of your cleavage ;) Why not fuck with expectations a bit? Show us pics of your femme cock or a body part that isn’t traditionally sexy. You’re smart as hell, I know you’ll come up with some way to make it your own if you choose to participate.

As for Sugasm, dear God, don’t quit! It *needs* people writing about sex that aren’t trying to titillate, desperately!